Guest blog: 4 Things I’m Doing to Cope with the Loss of My Baby
This first guest blog is an emotional heartfelt story written by a lovely mom. When she first reached out to me, she had just lost her baby. She was dealing with her loss and grief, but on top of that, she also had to deal with being postpartum. Not only did she have to deal with her emotional pain, her body was physically hurting as well.
She really wanted to have something that would remind her of her baby boy, something she could keep close, something she would be able to touch. She asked me if I could make her a breastmilk ring. A ring made out of her breastmilk, the milk that was meant to be for her baby boy. Needless to say, I was honoured she chose me to make her something so precious.
In this guest blog, she is sharing how she is coping with the loss of her baby and her grief. If you have any tips for her or want to react to her blog, please comment below.
Guest blog by Brenda Raftlova
4 Things I’m Doing to Cope with the Loss of My Baby
If you’re here, and you’re about to read my article, I hope it’s because you’re intrigued. I truly hope it’s not because you’re seeking advice on how to cope with the loss of your baby. But if the reason why you’re here is because you’ve lost a child, I’m extending my heart to you.
Before I share my tips on how to cope with the loss of a baby, I’d love to tell you a little bit about me. My name is Brenda, and I’m a 32-year-old mama to a beautiful little girl named Luna. On May 17th, I found out I was pregnant with baby number two. I remember taking the test in secret and then busting into the bathroom on my husband to share the good news. We were so excited. Sadly, on September 17th, we lost the baby. We lost our son. I was 23 weeks pregnant.
Please forgive me, but I won’t be sharing the details of my loss with you today. I won’t do it because I’m just not ready yet. Having said that, I’d love to share with you all the things I’ve been doing that have been helping me cope with my grief.
Four things that help me cope with my grief.
1. Working out
About three to four times a week, I wake up at 5:00am to either workout or go for a run. It’s not easy, but it’s definitely worth it. When you work out, you release endorphins, and those endorphins act as natural painkillers. If working out isn’t for you (I know it’s not for everyone), try at least going on a brisk walk.
2. Joining support groups
I’ve joined a couple of support groups on Facebook and I’ve found that talking to women who’ve gone through the same has been incredibly healing. There are a ton of support groups out there for women who’ve lost a baby (whether through a miscarriage, stillbirth, TFMR, or abortion) and I would recommend anyone to join one.
3. Spending time with loved ones
It’s so easy to isolate oneself after a loss, but it’s so important to let the people who love us and care for us be there for us. Feeling the unconditional love of my family has been extremely important in my healing.
4. Seeking therapy
Two days ago, I finally mustered the courage to call a therapist. On Tuesday, November 3rd, I’ll have my first ever therapy session. I’m scared. I’m excited. I’m sad. I’m everything. But I know I need this. I need it for myself, my daughter, and my husband.
It’s only been six weeks since I lost my sweet boy, therefore I’m still figuring out what’s helping me with my healing journey. If you have any tips you’d like to share, I’d love to hear them.